I find it harder to chat and make small talk than formerly. I have few topics for conversation these days. I see no movies save those on TV. Those few have already been seen by everyone but me. I would revive my movie review column save that I could not bring myself to review movies that are new only to me.
Music is not a topic on which I can converse meaningfully. I do not have enough contact with others to learn of new music, that being the necessary component for me. I do not like the radio and cannot watch MTV or any such in this environment. I have always been unwilling to simply buy music without a hint of what I might be buying. So I find myself in a musical vacuum of sorts.
Of books I cannot reasonably speak. I read nothing new as new books are simply not put on audio tape not for rental at any rate. I cannot bring myself to pay for a tape the price I would pay for a bound volume.
In short too late! I have not enough contact with anyone to stimulate in me conversation of more than the most mundane and plebeian source. Think not that I am whining, I merely comment on the current retrograde state of my contacts with the world. I have contributed to this reduction of my sphere and the debasement of the circumjacent residentiary all aware of the consequences. That it is a matter of choice makes it no less true. I have long admired that T-shirt slogan "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you." That my choices, and my life thereby, are circumscribed seems a reasonable thing at the moment. I cannot get around with the facility I could nor once I arrive at my destination accomplish my tasks there, be they work or recreative, with alacrity. And so I do less. That it is reasonable doesn't mean I really like the process.
Which is to say. Damn, but I am bored!
I have resolved to the execution, each day, of a writing exercise. I have listed ten different items along the lines of "write a love letter", "write of meeting someone new", "Write about something in today's news" and that sort. Mundane operations but good exercise. My intentions are good, let's wait and see how strong my resolution.
I dreamt last night of wandering through high grass and of a golden throne illuminated by a red sunset. I have recorded it in the usual place. Does anyone know the significance of horses in dreams? They have figured in the last few of mine.