Karl (louderback) wrote,

  • Mood:
Today is a day for cautious expeditions of thought and slow consideration. I feel bad. Physically, I am in distress, my back and head afflicting me with a painful clangor as that of a symphony orchestra tuning its instruments incessantly.

I find myself depressed. Discussion with LuTron, though always welcomed by me and ever a pleasure regardless of the topic or tenor, has left me feeling sad. My misery is not so great as to afflict me with unhappiness of spirit but rather of mind. I think I can elucidate the difference most clearly by likening the situation to one in which you find yourself stranded by the roadside with a flat tire. On discovering that your perfectly serviceable spare tire is equally flat through neglect on your part you are assailed by a weariness, a disaffection, compounded of regret, ineffectuality, and self-deprecation. This is how I feel. As though faced with a perfectly soluble problem outside the realm of my competence through my own procrastinative, intellectually deficient, and mentally impotent nature.

I will spend the day with Roger Zelazny and listen, oh so slowly, to his works. I will write today and compound the history of my alter-ego the Catcher of Souls.

At this early hour I can number among my meager accomplishments this record, a detailing of my disconcerting and disheartening dream of last night, and the concoction of a double-sized batch of chili, which, as I write, bubbles on the stove and works its slow way toward gustability.


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