Not a very good day
I accomplished nothing in the way of writing today.
My boss called and pretty insistently suggested that I look into the EAP (employee assistance program). This turns out to be five sessions with a psychologist or psychiatrist. Hey, it's free and it might help.
I also called today and extended my leave situation. I am not being paid for my time off, but I am at least preserving my job. I'll have something to go back to when (and increasingly if) I go.
I don't think I can go back to this job. I want a change as much as change seems to want me. Maybe this is just nature's way of telling me it's time to do something else for a living.
My eyes are a little worse today. The glare (photophobia) is a bit worse and everything seems a little darker. It may or may not be. How can I usefully judge?
Jeannie (hope I spelled that right) from the Rehab Services for the Blind was here this morning to make an assessment and to acquaint me with their services. She had a number of tinted glasses that turned out to be pretty good. One pair (which I have ordered and which should be here Friday) really reduced the glare without seeming to reduce the amount of light. It was quite pleasant to see the inside of the house in something like normal shades of colour. She had another pair that was pretty good for outside. They reduced the glare more than my polarized sunglasses and, again, didn't cut down the amount of light as much as standard sunglasses. I didn't order those as they are more than $40 and I don't want to spend anything right now that is not essential until I see what is going to happen to my income.
Jeannie was very friendly and quite informative. She showed me a number of devices and connected me with a number of ideas I had not thought about. Simple things like ways to count change and keep track of bills. Safety in cooking, things of that sort. I will enroll in some classes, get assigned a mentor and see if I can become one at some point. It is a way to teach and that is always good for me.
I must be depressed in the clinical sense, as I am becoming tearful. Jeannie showed me some lighted magnifiers and that sort of thing to help read prices in the grocery and books at home.
That last wrecked me. I held of until she was gone but then just gave it up and cried into my pillow (well, into my keyboard, actually). The last book I bought was one by a favorite author of mine, S.M. Stirling. It is "T2: Infiltrator" or something like that. A sequel to the movies... I was rather looking forward to it and bought it in hard cover because I didn't want to wait for the popular print edition. With the magnifiers Jeannie had I wound up reading one letter at a time. I am accustomed to reading about a paperback a week. I've been known to read 100 pages on my lunch hour while snarfing down a full meal. Reading one letter at a time is just pitiful.
I have never listened to a talking book that I enjoyed, but I guess that's the way I'll have to go. I am going to look into software that will let me download electronic books to my computer. I can still read reasonably in this environment. While that holds out, I will make it work for me.
I chatted with a couple of people today. One was HagbardCelene, who seems very much the philosopher. I must get him and LuTron together. They will found a new philosophy that will depress the angst-ridden for generations to come.
I spent a little time online with Ed and a little on with NuniaBiz. Neither one was very cheery today. Nunia is not having a good time at home. Ed is not having a good time in Minnesota. Though that last somehow fails to surprise me.
SoulCatcher is nudging me to get his adventures down on paper - as it were. I will do my best to write some tomorrow.
I will be very busy tomorrow trying to make appointments and checking out the neuro-ophthalmologist discovered in Columbia. My sister has also uncovered the names of a couple of Ophthalmologists who are also MDs. That might be useful. I am conjecturing now that my loss of vision might not be closely linked with my diabetes at all. My paternal grandmother and great-grandmother were both blind. The family has always assumed it was diabetes, but that is not documented.