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nanowrimo 2010


Diary of a Blind Madman

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Catching up after my long absence
nanowrimo 2010

         I suspect that the world of diarists, live journal and other similar sites, are doomed to extinction. FaceBook fills the need to blat out your thoughts instantly in immense quantity. It is a step down from the incessant tweeting of twitter which has a staccato intensity I find unpleasant. FaceBook is less strident to me than twitter, but it is still a bit much — requires too much of my time. I was checking it continuously throughout the day, the window was always open in my browser.

         Inevitably, I got mugged. That has happened on every forum I have ever attempted. It has even happened here. I posted two images as a political commentary. Nobody seems to have connected to the images any political message. I was trying to show the absurd ways that both the conservatives and liberals are trying to co-opt Jesus for their "God is on our side" attitudes. The right wants us to see Christ as a gun-totin corporate killer with a "Shoot 'em all and let God sort 'em out attitude while the left would show the Prince of Peace as a über-liberal geek-technophile with a love of gays, Muslims, and everyone who is not an American.

         Nobody got that. The hate mail began to pour in. A couple of friends failed to get the message... no big deal. I simply bailed on conversation rather than fight with them and damage our friendship (however ephemeral it has become ... I now know them only through FaceBook). They didn't bother me. It was a one-off misunderstanding and no real harm done. But the hate mail really did pour in. My privacy settings need adjusting on FaceBook. Everyone, and I mean everyone was able to comment on those pictures. I had no idea so many people looked at my posting. It was insane. I got over 200 E-mails and private messages praying for my soul, accusing me of sacrilege: and just plain blasphemy for posting those pics. I got several E-mails promising me damnation. Those particular one seemed to take great joy in describing my eternal torment.

         The cowards wouldn't post it publicly on FaceBook. They went outside and sent private messages and E-mails that would be seen only by me. Again I say, they are cowards.

         My sadness, and my just plain rage over this matter is inexpressible by me. I could rant. I could publish some of this vile hate mail. I could engage in fruitless debate — satisfying emotionally, but ridiculous intellectually — or I could simply bail on FaceBook. This is my choice. Nobody was ever convinced of a proposition by having someone yell at them. I will turn the other cheek as it were. I am a Christian and resent the fact that the individuals responsible for this flood of vituperation claim the same.

         On other fronts, Sis and I are both on the way toward surgery. She for foot surgery for plantar fascitis (I hope that is spelled correctly) and I for hand surgery for Dupuytren's Contracture, then throat surgery for sleep apnea correction. This will likely take place before the end of the year to avoid the change in insurance and Medicare coming 2010/01/01. After that date, who knows what will and will not be covered. I fear Obamacare and Sis's employer changing to United Health Care.

         The dogs Nickki and Jirel are not doing at all well. Poor Nickki has Cushings syndrome and while she is not really suffering terribly, is deteriorating visibly. She is fifteen years old (if you use the old formula of age*7, that makes her 105). She has become hopelessly incontinent. She simply pees wherever she stands, and no longer makes an effort to go outside. <sigh>She poops the same way</sigh> Despite steam cleaning my house (and me too) smells like dog pee. I will need new carpets. Sis has charged me with making the decision about when to put Nickki down. I will do so as soon as she seems to be suffering. The meds for cushing should alleviate some of the symptoms. If they don't then I think it will be necessary to put her to sleep. Her breed lives 15 to 18 years. I think Nickki has had a good run.

         My poor Jirel is not doing much better. She gets two injections of insulin a day and her blood sugars continue to run in the 400 range. I hate to up the insulin, as she is not eating much. I suppose it is inevitable. She takes her shots shockingly well. Not a yip or a complaint from her even when the blind guy administers the shot. Of course, she gets a snackie afterward for being such a good girl. Jirel will be 8 (56) in November. Carolina dogs live to be about 12. I don't think she will make it that long. She's pretty much blind these days from dense cataracts. The irony of the blind guy owning a blind dog saddens me. In addition to her blindness and diabetes, she has some sort of a mass between her stomach and liver. I have not been able to afford a definitive test to determine it's nature. If it begins to bother her, I will not let her suffer.

         I will be sad to lose our dogs. I will not replace them. It would be tragic to outlive my next dog — leave it orphaned. I will not do such a thing to an animal.

         Well, I've rambled long enough. I find LJ much more satisfying than my FaceBook entries. I won't have much of an audience here at Livejournal, but I write for me, not for you. :)

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I just cannot take the complete lack of humor that many so called Christians exhibit today. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with these people? What happened to one's religion is one's own business, and don't shove it down everyone's throat? And where the hell has this "god's law, not man's law" come from? I can't stomach it anymore.

I'm sorry about the doggies. They are both sweet critters. My Chester is getting up there in years, and I just pray that his health stays good.

I've sort of come back to LJ. Reading it, at least. There's little I want to go on at length about, and hardly any of my friends blog anymore. No one has the time or attention span.

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