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nanowrimo 2010


Diary of a Blind Madman

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Moaning and Whining
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My Baddnessometer is approaching maximum. I'm in this loop of repetitive symptom causality.

  1. My diabetes makes me thirsty.
  2. Drinking makes me pee incessantly.
  3. go to #1
  1. Diabetes makes my blood glucose high.
  2. My medicine lowers blood glucose but makes me hungry.
  3. Eating makes my blood glucose high requiring more medicine.
  4. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
  • Diabetes makes my legs and fingers twitch and burn (neuropathy) keeping me awake.
  • The medicine I take for neuropathy makes me sleepy to the point where I can't function beyond a 4th grade level.
  • <Cartman voice>Goddamnit!</Cartman voice>
  • Take more medicine and don't hurt

         I am really tired and bored of things being hard that should just be a normal part of my day. They're all such little things.

         I can no longer cut a straight line with scissors. No problem. Except, now I have a paper cutter that I have to drag out, find space for, peer at through a magnifying glass, set up for the cut, make the cut, put away, and go about my business. A minor effort becomes a major production. <Cartman voice>Goddamnit!</Cartman voice>

         I have to sit down to pee. Not really a big thing as Germans tend to do that anyway (Dad almost always did). I no longer have the option. I've been getting by standing directly over the toilet and going straight down. I've recently learned that my technique of standing with my shins against the bowl to align things or my aim (one of those) is deficient. So I sit. Am I plagued with masculinity issues over this? Far from it, but why don't I have a choice anymore? Blindness is a pisser-offer. <Cartman voice>Goddamnit!</Cartman voice>