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nanowrimo 2010


Diary of a Blind Madman

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nanowrimo 2010

Nausea Knob, somewhere near Mt. Erebus in Antarctica.

         Dreaming again. I woke around 2:00 and couldn't get back to sleep after a really disturbing dream.

         In the dream the landscape was not unlike that pictured above, but much more snow-covered. I strode about, pacing. I was aware of the cold, snow was blowing, but didn't consider it much. It seemed quite natural and not at all uncomfortable.

         I kept returning to the edge of a deep crevasse, peering, not into it, but across it, as though I expected something or someone to appear on the far side. This continued for a very long time, perhaps days. At last, with a sense of despair, I left and began clambering down a steep mountainside. I climbed a very long time until I realized I had climbed down into the crevasse. I continued until the sides became very steep and the crevasse itself narrowed as though nearing its bottom. There I found a ledge that was quite wide, but seemed barely to accommodate my size. I climbed down onto this ledge and followed it for a short distance until I found what I have to call a cave. It didn't seem in any way really like a cave. It was a crack in a huge glacial piece of ice. It hadn't been formed in any way. It had no rooms or passages, and really seemed more to be a defect in the ice like a bubble or a split you sometimes see in an ice cube.

         I entered this place and found it to be a bit confining. It should have been cold - it was cold - but that didn't seem to matter to me. I found a spot on the floor against one wall. I sat there, leaning back, with my hands around my knees. I felt like I was becoming a part of the fissure, part of the walls and floor. That is when I woke.

         For beanrua:


When conversations tend toward insanity,
Or again toward compulsive inanity,
For a different tone,
I pick up my phone,
And dial someone possessing humanity.

         I'm still feeling miserable. I am pretty sure I'm coming down with the institutional flu… meaning "whatever is going around the prison this week." My blood sugar is still hovering over 200 (11). That doubtless accounts for part of my yuckitude.

         No freewriting today

         Today's poem is at my website and in louderpoetry

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No matter what viral malady you happen to be filled with, I maintain that you are totally filled up with WIN!!!

Can I post it on my blog oh PLS?!

(you rock!)

And my *&^% blood sugar is over 150. That is not full of win. That's what I get for eating a HUGE lunch.

sis brought home choke & puke, uh… Steak & Shake for dinner so my sugars are up until morning. Took an extra metformin and 20units of lantus. Maybe I'll be normal by morning. *sigh*

Of course you can post it! Poets are incredibly suceptible to flattery.

*grins* I've thought of black elves as being "the voice of the stone" and being able to, in essence, merge with stone. This seems to be the Jotun version of that... and is very cool! Your head space is t3h epic win!

I'm sometimes pretty uncomfortable with the whole Jotun thing. Other times it's pretty cool.

I just wish I could attach some meaning to some of my dreams. It is hard to think of them as memories and hard not to...

I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes it just feels so right, feels like home, but then the thought occurs, "Wait... what?"

Here's a thought. Perhaps your dreams are not memories so much as journeys, say in the astral realm? Perhaps you soul, if you will, your essence, always has a foot in Jotunheim, sort of like having duel citizenship.

Thanks for throwing me that concept. I find it disconcerting in the extreme, but, the moment I read that, it just plain sounded right.

My mind is whirling a bit madly trying to get itself around the concept of bilocation, but I'm getting there.

Here's a weird one for you. Sitting here, typing this, I am absolutely certain that the Jotun has no problem whatsoever with this concept.

No problem. And yes, the concept of being pulled appart somehow is very disconcerting... A conciousness, an identity, is something we, in our culture, perceive as a singular thing that should be in one place with the exceptions of daydreaming and some occasional oddities here and there.

//My mind is whirling a bit madly trying to get itself around the concept of bilocation, but I'm getting there.//

The mind has quite a time wrapping itself around itself, I've noticed. *grins* I think, therefore, I am confused. :)

//Here's a weird one for you. Sitting here, typing this, I am absolutely certain that the Jotun has no problem whatsoever with this concept.//

Jotun might be from a culture that says souls can split or bilccate or have several concious elements to them. Many cultures believe we have many souls.

Personally, I don't know.

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