Karl (louderback) wrote,

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2006.43 poetry and self-diagnosis

Today's Movie Quote: "The Valkyrie at my side is shouting and laughing with the pure, hateful, bloodthirsty joy of the slaughter..."

         I think it has been ten or eleven days since my last actual update. Everything since has been poetry, meme, or simply uninformative. I added some poetry to louderpoetry without posting it here. It was interesting to me, but for some reason I didn't feel like adding it everywhere. One was a Triolet, a fairly intricate, if short form, the other was just a poem.

         I've been rather ill of late, depressed, and arthritic. I suppose that both might be linked to the colder weather. I am also experiencing some troubles with new medication. I've added zonegran to my schedule. It is a seizure medication that is also supposed to help me with sleep. I am in my sixth day of the regimen. Thus far I am seeing no benefits. It takes two weeks or so to get into one's system, so that is to be expected. The real problem I've been experiencing is one of dissociation. I'm not sure that is precisely the word I wish to use as I'm not certain of the clinical implications. Depersonalization might be more correct, but I have the same misgivings of self-diagnosing with that term. In any event, I have felt for some two weeks now as though I am watching myself at one remove. I feel like I'm observing myself do things as I do them, an odd out-of-body experience without the out-of-body component. I can't make it any clearer than that. It is quite uncomfortable. I have done this sort of thing in the past often enough when concentrating, it has been quite beneficial to me when memorizing, and sometimes when rehearsing presentations. I think everyone does it to certain degrees at different times. I am a bit alarmed at being "stuck" in this mode.

         I've written a fair bit of poetry in the last two or three weeks. I'm pleased by that. I wish it would inspire a bit of prose, my preference in writing. I still have hopes that it will. I seem to lack the ability to concentrate for long enough periods to generate more than a paragraph or two at a single sitting. For example, I've risen twice, thus far, while making this diary entry. I don't honestly know what the impediments are to concentration, save that I never seem to want to do so. Any thoughts?

         I have joined Gameknot chess and am playing online everyday. It is turn and about on an infrequent basis. I get in about two moves a day in most games. I am actually playing several games, so it means I get to make almost a game's worth of moves in the course of a day.

         I am continuing to enjoy Inkwell Manor and to participate there. I'm finding "The Campfire" forum a lot of fun. They have a "good narrator/bad narrator" interactive fiction going that is hilariously fun. The premise is that from a starting sentence posters alternate a sentence of the story that begins with "fortunately" or "unfortunately" or some close equivalent. Thus the story might run:

Once upon a time there was a treasure chest. Unfortunately it was guarded by laser-emitting war badgers. Fortunately, Mark the Slavering had a herd of laser-resistant badger-hounds.
My example is tame compared to what is actually going on. If you enjoy writing, you should check the place out. There is a lot of good poetry, prose, and some fun things. The critiquing is reasonable as well.

Tags: chess, illness, poetry

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