nanowrimo 2010

Louderblog

Diary of a Blind Madman

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Tired of it all
Sturm
louderback
Headache  
  I've had a pounding headache (feels like high blood pressure) for two days. Nothing seems to help. I'm going to bed early as it seems not to hurt while I'm asleep. Wish me pleasant dreams for a change.
 
Therapist  
  I saw George today. Had a wide-range extremely varied conversation. I boggled at various things for a while, bitched and moaned, the usual.
 
Mood  
  I've been bad tempered for days, possibly it goes with the headache. I've been dragging myself through the day for a while now. It seems like my mood picks up as the day goes on then collapses into itself after dinner. I don't like shifts like this. I don't like being in a bad mood so much.
 
Fortifications  
  For some time now someone has been persistently trespassing on my property. It can't be a "professional" burglar as no such would be so persistent and so incompetent. A couple of weeks ago they got into my garage. They stole nothing, merely opened the truck and (I assume) searched it. They left the door open all night - ran down the battery some. Two nights ago someone tried to pry the tail light off the same vehicle while it was parked in the driveway and behind the house. I almost got 'em with my camera, but the flash did not reach far enough. The night after, I saw someone in the front yard and when I went out they ran off down the street.

OK, I'm finally fully pissed off. I have replace all the exterior lights with motion sensors and have hired a company that does hidden cameras to put them in place this week. If I get pictures I will prosecute as vindictively as I can.

"No good deed goes unpunished." I think a "good deed" lies behind this harassment. A friend of a friend needed a place to stay and I let him stay here a couple of weeks while he looked for a job and a place to live. His psychotic family didn't like that. While he was living here they couldn't sponge off his disability check. Not that I'm no longer sheltering him and my sis is no longer running his errands as though she was his slave, they seem to be mad at me because I'm not helping him. His psychotic and delusional, cretinous troll of a sister is my vote for the cause behind it all. If not, the treacherous witch he began fooling around with almost immediately after moving in with his girlfriend may be the cause of it all. It doesn't matter to me who is the cause of all this. I've got the cameras and the other gear in place. The police know what is going on and the Chief is a friend of mine. When I nail someone I'm casting as wide a net as possible. If paroles get revoked, if people get investigated by Family Services, if kids get relocated, or if illegally obtained medicaid, food stamps, or child maintenance checks disappear, so be it. I've let people fuck with me long enough. I'm just an old blind guy with nothing special on my side but I am far from helpless. It's time they figured that out.

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I hope this question isn't too personal. If it is, just tell me. How long have your been seeing your therapist? The reason I ask is because one thing that SOME shrinkologists do is to have a pataiant that comes and gripes or whatever for an hour a week but offers the patient little to no help. Why? If the patiant is still "sick" (not improving), the therapist will have a steady stream of income from the patiant. If you've been to the same theapist for several years and haven't seen any morked improvment in your own behavior, thoughts ect., you might consider changing tharapists. Remember, they work for you (well... the insurence company... and if government gets their paws into health care, they really WILL be working for the government- the paranoid schitzo will be right. :-P). But anyway, I assume that you contribute at least some money (the insurence should help you pay if you have a spacific diagnosis from the shrinkologist), so he still works for you. he is performing a service. What sometimes happens is a patent goes to an unethic "therapist" and get in a real rut and fork out money not for advice, coaching, practice in rethinking things and logic and such but just for the privilage of being able to gripe to some one once a week.

I say all this not because I know much a bout this but because I mistrust the spychological industry. The very fact that is an industry as a problem. An industry turns out products. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be a product. But I also know there are some very excellent good hearted people in the industry as well. I see them as being allot like clergy, some are turely helpful members of the community where arthers are unethical manipulative power hungry money grubbers. And most people fall somewhere in between the perfect example and the utter horror stories.

Sorry if I'm sticking my nose where it doesn't beling here. If that's the case, tell me to bug off, and I'll never bring it up again.

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