Last night was uncommonly bad. I'm not going to record the dreams in baddreams
as usual. They were too vile. I smelled odors of burning all night, as of strong cigars or a garbage dump. I saw dead things of all sorts. Lovecraftian as it sounds, I got most upset when I dreamed of things that should not be, things that hurt me to see, to conceive. I slept little, but each time I did, the dreams returned.
I am searching the phone books, bracing my friends, doing the research thing. I need someone to mow the lawn. I can't afford much, but I have no way to get it done on my own. Blind Guy + Lawn Mower = Disaster. Lawn Service + Blind Pension = Poverty. *sigh*
Eating Well and Poorly
I grew tired of waiting for my sister to go grocery shopping and undertook the task myself last week. As a consequence I spent a day traumatized by contact with the general population, irritated by the fact that groceries move their merchandise around, and down in my back from walking for Ninety minutes on a cement floor. The upside is that I now have a large amount of "Karlfood" - food that I buy for myself that I get in the size and quantity I like that nobody else is able to do because I can't quantify it myself and so on and so forth. I overspent, but it got me some Nathan's hot dogs.
So with all this food in the house, why is there nothing to eat?
I've had a project underway since last December. It is simple enough. I want to take the back bedroom (unused) and turn it into my studio. I'll paint it, fill it with bookcases and tables, an easel and a few odds and ends. This involves more work than it seems, as wallpaper must be stripped, spackle must be applied, and several bits of wall must be "mudded". Still, four months seems entirely too long for this process; I've had all the materials that long. I alternate between firm resolve and abject despair. My goal today aims for painting the room by the end of the week. Wish me luck!
My money has run out. I simply can't afford the cost of my meds. I am exploring alternatives. I think this means a drastic diet to keep my glucose levels low and some mooching of diabetes drugs from various sources.
More later, I think.