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nanowrimo 2010


Diary of a Blind Madman

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Good news
marvin pondering

Yesterday was a "good news" day. I heard from my disability lawyer. My disability pension has been approved. It will be 60 days or longer before I begin to receive money, but I can hold out until then. Being officially "disabled" feels like a defeat in some ways. However, now I have a little stability in my life and my insurance from hell can't derail me at a whim. I can, at last, make small expenditures without the niggling feeling that I am "wasting" money that I "may need later".


With a stable income for at least the next few months, I can make some much needed changes in my life. I am going to make two trips to do some scouting. I hope to spend about two weeks in Florida. I want to spend a week with Becky in New Smyrna Beach and a week with Mighty Ed in Tampa. In each place I hope to locate cheap housing and identify means of transportation. The trip should be cheap as I will have a place to stay in both towns and my biggest expense will be travel to and from each place. I will have to shell out some "gas money" and buy meals, that sort of thing, but it shouldn't be outrageous. I hope that my jaunt to Florida will enable me to identify the needed resources that would enable me to live in an assisted living or similar situation. Perhaps I can find a very cheap studio apartment near the resources I require.

My second planned trip will be to Austin. Luis has spoken well of the place. I think I would like to live in a "university district" again. If the finances line up, it would be a good place for me. I will look at such places in Florida, but Tampa hasn't such an area, really. I think Austin has a "near campus" area with all the usual cheap housing, cheap restaurants, and generally student-oriented areas. I could live well in such a place, I think. I would like to try again.

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Glad to hear of your good news...

Just because the "man" (heh) has declared you disabled doesn't mean you can't be an active, productive person. I know many people who are. It does mean you can have the necessary support to take better care of yourself, and orient your life in sensible ways.

I was romantically involved with a man once who was very physically disabled, but refused to admit it, and do what needed to be done to get disability. He put tremendous stress on me and others which was far more destructive to relationships than getting a designation of "disabled" ever would.

Accepting what has to be done without letting it define you is an act of necessary courage...or that's how I see it...

is an excellent one. I appreciate your thoughts.

It is hard on me to accept the label "disabled" but now that I have the situation in place, my life is going to be easier. I have always valued my independence and now I have an opportunity to increase that.

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