Karl (louderback) wrote,
Karl
louderback

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Endings

Today's updates and x-posts: Dictionary

Today is one of those "last" days. I saw a lot of "lasts". I traveled to Belle, MO. I do not expect to go there again. There is no reason to do so. My parents retired to that vicinity back in '75. I have no friends there, my parents friends are mostly gone. I visited the bank there today and foresee no reason to go back.

I went to the bank and discussed repossession procedures. Optimistically I discussed how to sell the house, current interest rates, and the processes of payment of interest only or extensions of various sorts. Also, I withdrew the last of my "fall back" funds - money I didn't know I had. Once this deposit is used up, I will have no other resource whereby I can continue. I will be utterly dependent on any welfare or disability money I can get.

My resources don't extend beyond basics at this point. Today was the last day for Netflix. This week will be the last for cable television. Telephone and such will continue so I'll still have my Internet connection for a while.


I spoke to payroll today and managed to free up some funds there. I am practically rolling in cash these days. My bank account is in the three digit range for the first time in six weeks. My insurance company from Hell had notified payroll that I was reinstated, but not to release the funds. Bureaucracy gives me the shits, but at least I think I can count my payroll contact as another "last".

I am going to spend some money on my dogs. Jirel needs her shots as does Nickkie. As well, Nickkie needs a mole examined on her back. It may have to be removed. Might as well pay it as long as I've got it. It will likely be another "last" as neither of them will see the vet again any time soon.

Things are ending for me in a variety of ways. My resources are failing and my own ingenuity is not up to the task of fixing things. I've depleted all my support in a variety of places, financial, familial, friends, and otherwise. Whatever happens next not likely be within my scope of control. I hate that.
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