Karl (louderback) wrote,
Karl
louderback

Meltdown

Sleep Report: I slept from 3:00 to about 5:00. I was up intermittently before that. I woke with music from the Floor Show from the Rocky Horror Picture Show running in my head. I do not remember dreaming. That is a good thing.

Reading There are a number of writers and poets in the Walkers in Darkness group. Surprise! Depressed people write poetry! I had a major meltdown this morning when we all got talking about reading. I haven't been able to read since June of 2001. It provided me an escape that I no longer have. I haven't written anything substantial since that time either. That escape seems closed to me. I realized, while online that the Barnes & Noble had been open in Jefferson City since November and that I had not yet passed its doors. It then dawned on me that I no longer even want to go to bookstores. I dissolved into tears and had to leave the chat. I spent 20 disconsolate minutes in front of the computer and another half hour in bed before I went back to sleep. I've not cried myself to sleep since I was a child.

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