Things are going better today. Which is to say, nothing in particular has gone obviously wrong.
Activity ... of sorts
I had lunch today with Randy. He is a life saver. He has a Windows 2000 disk and will help me repair the missing files on my machine. He also has experience with wireless LAN ... a hot topic of interest for me. I can't do anything about having a wireless LAN at the moment, but I think there is one in my future - someday.
The weather today is very good for January. I don't want to jinx things by calling this a mild winter, but I am well pleased with the lack of snow so far. I hope this mildness doesn't make for a late spring.
Jirel has been running in and out approximately ten thousand times a day since she got it into her head it was allowed. Nickkie, on the other hand, will use the doggy door only if someone holds it open for her. *sigh*
I'm beginning my mission tomorrow. I'll see my shrinkologist at 14:00. Before that time I must visit the medical records departments of St. Mary's Hospital and JCMG. After my shrinking I'll head out to the place that does MRIs. At each of these places I have to request copies of all my MRIs, CAT, and PET scans. I have to request copies of all of the above. My new neurologist requires them. I suspect that the heap of films will weigh in excess of 100 pounds and will require a dolly of some sort to move. I have film from office visits and ER situations dating back to around 1972. I cannot conceive that films more than a couple of years old will be of any use but they have requested everything. I'm going to call the neurologist's office and ask them if they are serious. The new neurologist is in Columbia, some thirty miles away. I hope that something good will come of the trek.
I have been putting lots of words on paper. Hmmm ... well actually, I suppose I've been flipping bits or whatever one does when there is no paper involved. OK, I've been writing. Nothing creative, nothing poetic, not even story ideas. At least I'm typing words in a row.
My sister and I made chili today as a joint effort. It seems to be a rousing success. I am looking forward to dinner this evening. Sis pointed out that no matter how often she does the dishes I keep dirtying more. I pointed out that no matter how often and how frequently I do the dishes she keeps dirtying them. This led to a solution... we are just going to lay dirty dishes on the kitchen floor and let the dogs lick them clean. I must remember to see that the other members of our household, Mario and Kim, don't find out about this.
I spent some time on the phone with Becky last night. I haven't spoken much with her in the last couple of years. We had fun catching up. Her health is as poor as mine. She is still out of work after two years, and is really not up to working, but has lost her disability and must do something. Beck was the best "movie buddy" I ever had. <sigh>I miss our regular visits to the theatres in Miami and Seattle.</sigh>
Wee Hours Carpentry
X-Posted to louderprose
Rant du jour...
"Poor" is not semantically equal to "real!"
Sometime after midnight I couldn't stand it any longer and removed the screen door from the back of the house. It is sprung and was squeaking incessantly. I could simply have closed it, I suppose. That would, however, have negated the installation of the doggy door. All praise to Black & Decker, maker of the electric multitool.
I've been taking some hits in E-mail the last couple of days. It is not a big thing to me but one phrase has cropped up a couple of times and it irritates the crap outta me.
"Welcome to the real world."
I'm alive, I have an income. I've had many years with a relatively high salary. I've had help from friends and family. I've lived well for many years. I have food and a car, cable and cable internet, a phone with long distance service, heat in the winter and air conditioning in the summer. I have a prescription plan that covers most of my drugs. My insurance takes care of almost all my doctor visits and hospital stays. Life could be a lot worse.
I'm a lucky guy. I know it. I'm grateful for it ... now will y'all shut up about it OK?
I've been firmly ensconced in my middle-class luxury for most of my life. Giving up that isn't easy for me. There is no virtue assumed with the trappings of poverty. Nor will I accede to the idea that having possessions or accumulating wealth carries with it a burden of evil.
I've done well for myself for forty years. I am losing the things I've accumulated and I'm unable to replace them. I am less competent than once I was.
Surrendering cable television or an internet connection won't be all that crushing a blow to my life. What hurts is the downward spiral as my abilities fade, my competence crumbles, the trappings of my life whither.
I'm not moving to the "real" world. A modem internet connection is not more "real" than a cable internet connection it is just slower. Living on a pension or on the dole is not "real" it is simply less luxurious. I am not headed for abject poverty, homelessness and starvation. I am headed closer to them than I ever wanted or expected. It is not "real" it is a damned shame.
My foot is on the brake, but I am still headed downhill. There is little about this that is within my control. I lament not my destination, but my inability to alter my course that's real.