February 6th, 2004

nanowrimo 2010

Things are not looking up

I had a genuinely crappy night last night. I woke often, dreamed incomprehensibly, and perspired profusely. All things considered, I'd have done better awake. At least there would have been a chance to do something productive. :) Who am I kidding? :)

I don't remember my dreams of last night so there is no chance to record them. I have begun to dream more frequently and more vividly in the last two weeks. No medicine changes, but I have been eating poorly. Spaghetti, burritos, bratwurst, and various indigestibles have featured heavily in my diet. <sigh>I suppose I need to start behaving myself.</sigh> I feel like Scrooge, blaming my nightly troubles on a "bit of undigested gruel". Still, there's some validity to it. Who hasn't over-eaten and suffered a nightmare as a consequence. I wonder why my dreams are always so surreal.

In Puppy News, things are going well. Nickkie has learned to use the doggy door with a minimum of coaxing. She is not really independent in using it as yet, but has done so on her own on a couple of occasions. Jirel in the meantime has taken to emptying my trash can while I sleep. She loves to chew Kleenex. I have tried to make it clear that Kleenex are "bad" but unless I can catch her in the act, I think it may be futile.

Transportation has become a problem for me. My sister's car is down and neither of us can afford to fix it. Insurance is expired/about to expire and so she is de jure grounded if not de facto. I am back to taking the handi-wheels bus to my appointments.

I may have fewer appointments in future. I think my "safety net" is winding down now. My doctors (two of them) have not updated my short term disability despite phone calls from me. That means my eligibility will be cancelled soon if not already. Paychecks will stop and I will eventually be unemployed (both de facto and de jure). I'll have to find some way not to lose the house. Disability does not seem to be an option with all my doctors hedging their bets. I will soon lack the resources to make another round of the same or even different doctors. As I understand things, if I don't get my Social Security Disability, my company long term disability is automatically disallowed. Maybe once I am unemployed I can qualify for food stamps. I don't know if I can get welfare or unemployment at any point. It probably won't be enough to pay the mortgage.

My but that was dreary. More later.

nanowrimo 2010

A bit more for today


I dreamed of vampires this afternoon. I'm not going to record anything because my only recollection is of that fact, not of the dream itself. I find this sometimes happens to me - recollection of the subject matter with out remembrance of details.


I napped an hour at 16:00 après-shrink. I was miserable in the extreme. I can't say why, but most of my sessions leave me in a bad mood. This one left me bummed and exhausted. I had to nap.

News of the World

Actually, news of the Ed. I was delighted to hear from Ed that the house he wanted was still available and that his offer was accepted. He is still awaiting final word, I think, but things look good. I am envious. <sigh>I wish I were buying a house in Florida.</sigh>


I was borderline shocked to learn that "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" was showing on Bravo tonight. I don't recall it ever being on television before. I owned the 25th anniversary VHS tape. Now I want the DVD. I cannot say precisely why.