June 23rd, 2003

nanowrimo 2010

(no subject)

On the phone again...

Today has been a horrible day on the phone, Call insurance, call the doctor, call back the insurance. I've been to the doctor again and again and the records don't show it. How can they lose appointments?

It is getting ever more difficult for me to deal with things like this. My memory seems unreliable. I'm having physical problems, my shoulder, my hands, and general exhaustion.

My finances are in a shambles. I have to thank Steven Michael Baum for re-payment of a loan that is over 30 years old for my recent salvation. I can now continue for at least two months, maybe more. The cable company called today. Apparently my cable is past due. I can't see how that is possible. I know I made a payment in May.

My life is generally just dismal. I don't know how to fix things. I have to find some new ways to do things.

It is getting increasingly difficult for me to accomplish simple tasks. Just calling the doctor to get an appointment takes me a full day to screw myself up to do it. I don't go grocery shopping any more unless there is no food in the house. Seeing people is a trial. I cancel frequently, often am feeling to sick to go out anyway. Even tasks I am able to do seem to be getting harder.

My diet is totally out of control. My depression meds don't seem to be working. My physical health is getting worse. I am getting flayed alive by falling every day, my arms and hands are becoming a grid of scratches and little punctures from me trying to catch myself. I've removed every pointy or sharp thing I can find from my environment, but this week I trashed my thermostat falling against it. That was a shrieking pain to replace. It also netted me a nice cut on my forearm. Perhaps the universe is just whittling on me.

I resolve, once again, to update this journal daily