April 23rd, 2003

nanowrimo 2010

Doggie - Do (The Way of the Doggie)

Not prounounced as your first instinct might dictate, Doggie-Do, the Way of the Doggie, is a cult form of that famous martial art Dog Fu which has as its stated purpose the mastery ofmankind by the Canine Clans.

There seems to be some question as to who is in charge here. I am definitely in charge o f the whole "in" and "out" situation. My as -yet-unnamed-pup is establishing ownership of my movements using the "crouching doggie, hidden pee-spot" kata. She has learned that all she need to do is crouch out of a back bedroom to make me walk back there looking for hidden poo.

This is enhanced by my poor language skills.

Earlier my doggie came rushing up to me as I lay in my recliner and said, distinctly and clearly, (or so I thought) "That klutz Timmy has fallen into the abandoned mine shaft again! Follow me! And bring then news crew!" Needless to say, after alerting the media and ordering some slant-shaft mining equipment, I followed. I learned that I had woefully mistranslated. What she actually said was, "Hopping things! The yard is full of hopping things! Did you know this? they HOP! Again and again, constantly hopping. Sometimes they ZOOM too. I hate that! They zoom in and they zoom out and in between the arrogant, self-centered things HOP! In my, er... our yard! And there's fast things, with wavy parts. Maybe there's a wavy thing riding on the fast things. I'm not sure. You're going to have to open the door so I can find out. I need to go out and confront those smug self-satisfied hopping things. I've got to get out there and figure out about the fast, wavy things! Open the door man, I've got to establish a perimeter. I've got to secure the yard. For god's sake man, I've got to do some reconnaissance!"

I'm pretty sure that's what she said. It was embarrassing sending the mining crew home. The media, however, loved her and took lotsa pictures. "Courageous Puppy. Film at 11:00"


The ultimate winner is yet to be determined.

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