February 4th, 2003

nanowrimo 2010

Item 2 in the ongoing series. and a note

2. My sister is losing it
2.1. She is depressed
2.2. She is financially stressed
2.3. She doesn't make enough to pay her bills
2.4. She can't handle all the responsibilities around the house
2.5. Caring for my mother
2.6. Shopping
2.7. She has a lot of pressures in her life
  1. There's nothing going on in her life I can or should do anything about. That's a good thing.
  2. She has taken over worrying about my brother (Mom used to do it). That's a good thing. I don't want to do it. I will if I must.

My life is getting simpler. I find that the goal I've been pursuing so arduously isn't desirable.That genuinely sucks.

I feel worn out. I don't have enough energy to cope with anything yet I wish I had just one surmountable problem to keep me busy. Everything in my life is beyond my control. My decisions are forced. I'm doing lots of things but none of them improve my situation. When all your decisions are dictated to you by factors beyond your contorl are they really your decisions?

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