September 5th, 2002


(no subject)

I'm becoming less and less capable of planning. I find myself defeating my own efforts. Something is distinctly wrong that I am not correcting. I think whatever I am doing is somehow wrong and that my "subconscious," fate, my muse, or whatever it may be is screaming to me that I'm doing something wrong.

Increasingly I find that I don't want to do the things that I plan to do. I find other things to do. It may be simple procrastination but I strongly suspect that something deeper is present. I keep expecting a lightning bolt, an epiphany, something that will shout to me what it is that I should be doing instead of what I am doing.

Is an epiphany by definition an external event? Does it come from within or is it always a strike of lightning out of the blue?

1. A comprehension or perception of reality by means of a sudden intuitive realization
2. A sudden manifestation of the essence or meaning of something

Neither of those imply that such is internal or external.

  • Current Music