June 19th, 2001

nanowrimo 2010

Driving myself unnecessarily crazy... everybody needs some kind of a hobby.

Overall, this sucks.

I'm home from work again today. I didn't feel well last night and thought I might be here but I was surprised to find there's another reason. Lately, when I wake, my eyes have taken a long time to focus. Thirty minutes has been the longest. I am now up to three hours and counting. My vision has developed a blue tinge as well. I really cannot read well at all. It is getting to the point where I'm considering consulting my friend Jim. He has been living with limited vision for thirty years. I think I'm going to need some survival tips if this gets worse.

I am not feeling well in general. Time to get something done and not just sit around waiting for the doctors to get inspired.

I had an odd dream last night. It is related in baddreams.

It is harder to type today than the last few days. I can't really get much of a visual check while I type. If anyone had asked me if I look at what I type while typing, I'd have said "No, of course not. I touch type". I hadn't realized how much feedback I get as I go along. Praise to whoever invented the inline spell-checker.

I am spending a lot of time making myself crazy over all this. I keep think about "What if that was the last book I get to read?" or "I need to finish writing this while I can still proofread it". It is just stupid to be like this, but I can't help worrying. It is my nature to try and control what's going on around me and it is making me crazy to follow my own nature. Some software to read my screen or to let me dictate might be a good idea someday if this doesn't improve (might be a good idea even if it does), but I'm going bats because I can't order any. I'm bugged because I haven't converted my Amazon wish list to large print books and audio books. I would be convinced that these were the first signs of dementia if it didn't turn out that it was stupidia...

Off to do more writing on the SoulCatcher series. I also want to spend some time reading the latest in Liturae, the shared journal I'm working on with some friends. I want to analyze the style of chapter two and try to make chapter 1 conform somewhat. I also have more to add to chapter one once my second mind (the one that does all the composing) is finished stringing it all together.

  • Current Mood
    aggravated aggravated
nanowrimo 2010

I might as well annoy as many as I can...

Well, I suppose the entire medical community is pissed at me now.

After the brain scan Friday (yes, they did find one) I've been waiting to hear for some results. The ophthalmologist thought maybe sinus pressure was inflaming the optic nerve far enough back where he couldn't see it. The antibiotics are kicking in to the point where I think my sinus infection is receding. But my eyes are getting worse, not better.

The brain scan came back with no indications as to a cause for my vision problems. So I am pressing Dr. Jujube for the next step. My sister got into it with Doc Aruba's nurse who didn't understand why I regarded this as such a big deal. Dr. Jujube's office gave me a note for work, they had to know I can't drive, can't work and haven't been able to for a week. How's that not a big deal? Jujube and Aruba are in the same office for pity's sake, and I only have one chart that they both use. They had to be aware that I was on pins and needles waiting for test results. After my brush with Dr. Jujube Thursday, his nurse and I went at it mildly today.

I hate this kind of hassle. It looks like it's time for me to name a new primary care physician. I have to have a designated PCP in order for my insurance to pay.

  • Current Mood
    scared scared