My health is out of control these days. I am more irritable and irascible all the time. The depression symptoms feel out of control. I can't concentrate and don't feel like expending the effort to try. I am trying to stay in control but I can't reasonably do it.
Staying in control amounts to surrendering control at the moment. I am turning all my interface with social security and my work over to a lawyer. My sister is looking for a CPA to take over money matters for me. Without someone to manage the mundane things of my life, I am going to get into pretty bad trouble.
My family problems are at a new all-time high. It looks like my brother is in deep. He is likely to spend many years in jail. He really needs to be in a mental hospital. I don't know if there is much chance of achieving that. I will make some effort to see if that can be made to happen.
I am much better to manage disasters, and other people's disasters at that, than my own minutiae. That scares me.
I'm tired of being an outsider in every venue in which I exist. I am even an outsider in my own life.