nanowrimo 2010

Louderblog

Diary of a Blind Madman

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Having a Bad Week
Man of Bronze
louderback

It's been a rough week. Some things have gone well, some poorly.

Puppy News: Jirel had her stitches out Monday, took it like a trooper and hardly noticed the procedure. I had the vet squirt her with frontline so she is flea and tick immune for a while. I had a long wait for the cab both coming and going. I called for a cab at 10:00 and it didn't arrive until 11:00. Procedure was done by 11:20 and I didn't get away from the vet until 12:30. I had a massive low-sugar headache by then. Nothing much the rest of the day.

Work News: Basically no news at this point. Last week, my boss called to tell me I needed to return to work. Later in the week her boss called and said not to come in. I was expecting to hear from him this week, we had discussed a "company doctor" examining me. That should make my disability claim a simpler process. If I don't hear anything on Thursday I'll call him.

Calendar News: I had only a few appointments this week. For the last month I've had a doctor appointment or some activity every day. This week, Monday my only stop was the Vet. I had Tuesday off. I took today, my birthday, off. Tomorrow I have to meet with my lawyer. Friday I go to the neurologist.

Lawyer News: I'm hoping to turn over all my company and social security activities to the lawyer. I am not up to managing it all. I procrastinate unspeakable and may already have screwed some things up. Between the fact that I feel like shit almost all the time and that the depression leaves me motivated to do nothing about it, I get little or nothing done. It is the worst problem I have at the moment. I don't know how to feel enough better to want to do something. Each problem reinforces the other and I haven't been able to break out of it. I even blew off my shrink last week. I need to call and see if I can get our usual appointment but I haven't been able to get going on that. All it requires is a phone call, but I haven't been able to do it.

Brother News: My brother is in trouble again. He was supposed to appear for sentencing last month on the 14th. He fooled around and got to the courthouse so late that he missed the sentencing. They resecheduled it for the 16th of this month. Last week the police raided the house in Feursville and arrested him again. He's now charged with a couple more class D felonies. He's looking at 30 years now. They put him in jail and delayed setting bail to ensure he'd stay the weekend at least. It is high enough that we haven't been able to post for him so there he sits for at least a few more days until they reduce bond and we can afford to get him out. Given the overcrowded situation and other factors, he'll probably only serve 3 to 5 years on a 30 year sentence, but I don't think my brother can survive it. He is severely disturbed mentally, can't even go to the grocery store without major work. He will be killed in prison. As an additional pisser-offer the police failed to secure the premises when they left and the house has been stripped. To make matters still worse, Missouri's confiscatory policies will probably cause them to take the house. If my brother gets out of jail any time soon he will be homeless.

Health News: I've fallen every day this week. Yesterday twice in the morning in rapid succession I fell and bumped my head. First time was not too bad, but the second I raised a bump. Today I fell backwards and raised a lump on the back of my head. I guess it is a form of phrenology - but instead of my bumps for telling my future my present is creating my bumps.

Birthday News: Today, at 23:53 I will be officially old enough to know better. I was telling people I was 39 and holding, but I realized that that made me as old as Jack Benny. I got a sweater for my birthday. I was hoping for a screamer or a moaner, but what the heck. No celebration, no observances, I don't do that, haven't for many years. The only birthday that interests me lately is my 67th plus 2 months. That is the date I can retire on Social Security. It is obvious that working is not in my future. I hope I can survive until then.

X-posted to Walkers In Darkness Depression Forum "Having a Bad Week"


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