I tell stories. I can't help it. My life is just like that. Things happen to me that cause people to go "huh" the same way a pig grunts. On occasion, at least, this signifies disbelief. To my detractors I say "Nyah! You just be glad this sort of thing doesn't happen to you".
By popular demand
The tale of the Dwarf.
To understand just what was going on you have to have a little background. I lived in Miami in those days working as a programmer. I had five sons at home back then. One of the boys, José, was called Joey by everyone. He is 4'5" tall and has osteogenesis imperfecta. He's a Dwarf.
Also necessary is to know MS Atlas. An acquaintance of mine famed for holding up the world (really, I have a picture of her doing so) and for making cookies and goodies. She collects penguins: she collects anything with a penguin involved. They may be stuffed penguins, pictures of pinguins, drawings, articles, or any item in the universe that has a penguin somehow involved. I don't understand it. Some people collect owls the same way
At work one morning, I took a call from MS Atlas. She asked me to return to her "the box of penguins". She had left it at my home the night before full of cookies. It was an interesting cardboard-like box, shaped a bit like a cooler, but made of some plastic substance and imprinted with penguins that marched around it's borders. She had filled this with cookies and delivered it as a treat for me and the boys. I was at work and could not take off to return it to her but I offered to phone home and see if Joey could deliver it for me. She agreed, but asked that he bring it to her at her work. Her job was at a head shop on Bird road in the section in the back where they kept the magic books, crystals, and whatever new-agey things the clientele might find interesting.
I hung up and picked up the receiver again immediatly to phone Joey. As I did my boss walked in, looking to ask me a question. I held up a hand, made my call to Joey, giving him directions to Atlas' place of work and explaining what I wanted him to take to her.
I hung up the phone. My boss looked at me with an odd expression. I raised my eyebrows inquiringly and he asked me "Did you just send a dwarf with a box of penguins to a magic shop?"
"er yes." My life is like that.
He turned and walked out. I never did find out what his original question was.
Next time, "The amazing tool".