Karl (louderback) wrote,
Karl
louderback

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Change Day

Yesterday started as a good day. I got a new assignment, one within the scope of my abilities, for the first time in months. I started the day well, comfortably, studying the system to locate reports. It went well, I even kept a log of my activities.

I met George at Noon. I won't do that again, I think. It really screwed up my Noon meal, I didn't get to eat until about 13:00. I had a headache by then that I had been unaware of until the food abated it somewhat. My conversations with George have, of late, been more rambling and of no sharply defined nature, more social calls than medical ones. I would like for things to take a different tone if I but knew what that should be.

The afternoon went well until about 15:00 when my energy just ran out. Perhaps the late lunch, perhaps some eye strain, exhausted me early. I don't usually tire until 16:00 or a little later.

Even after I tired, I managed a couple of productive moments. I produced a memo about a feature of ISPF. I noted that there is a standardization effort going on to which I could alert the staff. I will discuss it with the tech staff today.

I want to start strong this morning. We'll see.

Tuesday was one of the best days I've had in a while. I felt more in control of things than I have in a long time. I felt able to accomplish something for the first time in a long time. Sadly, the habit of work is one I need to rebuild. I haven't been able to fill a day with work in a long while. Now I can. Now it is hard when it used to be simple. I must make it simple again.

I wish I wasn't tired every day.

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