Karl (louderback) wrote,
Karl
louderback

Irrational Theory

OK

Now you've done it!

Since I mentioned my theory that Evil Shower Gnomes were moving my shower control back toward cold so that I had to adjust it upward every day, things have changed.

You have given yourself away.

My shower not stays adjusted or even increases in temperature.

Today, through some magical contravention of the laws of science, I turned on the shower and the water that came out somehow, without becoming steam, approached the surface temperature of liquid selenium lying about on the surface of Mercury.

I repeat! You have given yourself away!

Now I realize I could advance several reasonable theories on this subject, but that would be unreasonable.

It is obvious that one of you dear readers is twiddling my shower handle.

Heinous!

I suspect several people, and am in the process of narrowing down the list.

  • superstar_pig might be the one, I think he has that sort of sense of humour.
  • Just for the name, hate oughta be included. I don't think it's him though.
  • monkey_funkel has the sort of sense of humour that might conceivably include shower torture, but I don't think it's him either I don't think I've ever offended him.
  • It could be ringbark. He may be holding a grudge since, long ago, I made one of those stupid "If you're really in the Southern Hemisphere why isn't your picutre upside down?" jokes. I also accused him of being Australian. I realize these are relative unforgivable, but alternate roasting and freezing in the shower is to severe a punishment!
  • I also wonder if it could be sirlanceHe is suffering terribly in his pressure-ridden, writing-assignment riddled, generally tense existance. Perhaps he is amusing himself with a little scalding?
  • One of the moste likely perps is the dreaded and terrible theslave. Not that he is all that evil or anything, but I see him eminently capable of a cheap, highly unselective revenge mounting a webcam, loading up a page titled "tormenting the bald, fat guy in the shower" and regarding the whole thing as some sort of performance art.
  • lutron could be the culprit but I think he is too absorbed in Tacitus. Perhaps he's reading a little of randy old Catullus in his spare time (well, hypothetically at least he has spare time) and is getting all hot and bothered. Could this his way of working it out?
  • It might even be questor411... he lives in Seattle after all.
  • The prime suspect, however

    Dum, dum, DUM!

    ... would be nuniabiz. Her psycokinetic tendencies are well known. Perhaps the equally well known "abandoned woman syndrome" has afflicted her since our virtual divorce? It is entirely possible she could be doing it just for grins!

Either one of the above is twiddling in my shower (sounds nasty don't it?) or <Dum, dum, DUM!>>one of my readers is an Evil Shower Gnome!</Dum, dum, DUM!>

OMIGOD! I forgot about geekgrrl I'll bet it's her! She's Canadian (so I hear)!

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  • 11 comments

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