Karl (louderback) wrote,

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Christmas "miracle"

Q: How many scuba divers does it take to circumcise a whale?

I got my vision back today.

Then I lost it again.

I fell down the basement stairs carrying four trash bags. I fell about four steps to the landing and butted the cement wall with the top of my head (see scary photo at right) scarry photo … well, I meant to type "scarry" photo but you be the judge. I scraped the top of my head. How the fuck do you scrape the top of your head in a fall?


It's better than a broken nose, right? Lying on the landing, head down a four-step flight with one leg trapped beneath the rung of the upper flight, woozy and cursing mightily, my vision cleared. I could see quite well, not perfectly but very well indeed. I could see my mother standing at the top of the stairs wondering what was going on.

Naturally, I was in the dark. I got my mother to turn on the light and I found that I really could see. I sat there a while, composing myself and got ready to climb back upstairs (Fuck the trash bags! let 'em lie!) and found my vision fading again.

There are just no words.

Wednesday I'm calling all my doctors and telling them it's time for more x-rays, MRIs, and whatevers … if my vision can clear from a bump on the head, than I have a pressure problem. Something is pushing on my brain in a bad way. Let's find it. I can't go around banging myself on the head in order to make an accurate left turn at exit 31. Y'know?

A: Just fore-skin divers.

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