nanowrimo 2010

Louderblog

Diary of a Blind Madman

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Me and the Doggies
nanowrimo 2010
louderback
Me and my "Issues"
Everything Is Under Control

Everything is UNDER CONTROL

         I'll confess I've not bee doing all that well. Depression issues are back. I'm pretty much broke. Finances are hard just now. Things, in general, are not going at all well. Of course, this means I'm crancking out writing at better than 2k per day. Always the way, somehow. My day seems dismally bleak of late. I converse with several people, always enjoying myself, then spiral down into a "What's the point?" position. I have resumed my visits to Walkers in Darkness - never a good sign. No doctor visits for a while. Following my March surgery I feel fully recovered. I lost 24 pounds in 7 days. I accidentally fasted before going in for surgery then had a six-day stint of liquid diet. I am actually wearing an OLD pair of men's Levi's that belonged to my sister. I feel vaguely like a transvestite … I expect to lose still more weight soon. June 8th I'll go under the knife to have a thumb-sized growth removed from my thyroid. There is also a crystallized nodule on the left side they'll be taking a look at. Here comes the thyroid medicine! I'll be in hospital about 6 days. I'm told it'll look like someone cut my throad. Think of the fascinating lies I can tell about knife fights (I'm a writer after all …). And "Chicks dig scars" right?

The Doggies
NickkiJirel         Our poor doggies! They're just not doing well. Nickki has been having problems for a while. She is fifteen - 95 in "dog years" - she has gone from "Princess Nickki" to "Princes Dowager Nickki". She has a bit of the "Ugly Duchess" about her, and a bit of the "Red Queen" too. She has seizures which scare us as much as her. She seems to suffer few ill effects, though her limbs are like rubber for a few minutes afterward. She has twice fallen through the railing around the stairwell to the basement. She seems not to have suffered more than fright from these 8-foot falls, but we have blocked out the stair anyway. She is nearly blind, but still sees well enough to navigate when there is sufficient light. Alas, she has become completely incontinent and has utterly surrendered the idea of even trying to go outside.

My poor Jirel seems to be in dire straits. She is diabetic. I have to give her 2 insulin shots each day. Neither of us are happy about that. She has gone approximately as blind as I. She has learned her way around the house. She and I aren't on the best of terms because of the shots. She has gone from 84 pounds (too heavy) to 64 pounds (about right for her breed). She looks skinny to my eyes, but not yet emaciated. There may be a mass near her stomach. We will go for an MRI after I get out of the hospital and find out. The Vet says it is safe to wait. I cannot get her to eat any known brand of dog food. Chicken doesn't seem to appeal to her unless it is the canned variety. She will eat Nathan's hot dogs. But that's not a very good meal for her … Jirel is just 7 - 49 in those "dog" years - young to be having all these troubles. I weep for my doggies. I think we'll likely as not lose them both about the same time, and sooner than we'd like.


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