nanowrimo 2010

Louderblog

Diary of a Blind Madman

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Sleep and Drugs and writer's block
nanowrimo 2010
louderback
Bill of Rights DayToday is the Ides of December, National Bill of Rights Day since 1941. Go out and exercise your third amendment rights. Cast out those troops they're quartering in your spare room! People fail to realize what a sweeping document the Bill of Rights really is. Well people other than militant militia nut-jobs who can't speak without quoting the document. Well, that is unfair. They do that only on Law & Order. In real life I am sure they are much more nearly sane. Stereotypes abound and that is a common one. I recall during the riots in Seattle in 2000, the newscasters were getting their gleeful yoicks snickering at how organized the self-proclaimed "anarchists" were. One such even granted an anonymous interview and called the interviewer a fool. "Anarchist doesn't mean disorganized or random › it means we don't believe in one form of government you fool." The interview ended abruptly. I'm amazed at how often people don't know what they're talking about and keep talking. I shouldn't be. I do it myself often enough.

Writers Block
         I am officially "writer's blocked". After a 3k word start I am stuck. I'm going to work hard on getting unstuck. I really like the characters and the story in my Warrior Mage story idea. I need to get it to a point where it is more than an idea and an actual story with a defined middle and end as well as a beginning. I need to define a couple of characters. The story definitely needs a side-kick and at least two villains.

         I am becoming quite a fan of Legend of the Seeker. I think the first season is over, as they showed the first episode again today, but I hope it will continue. I mention it at this point because I want to include some seeker-esque elements in my own story. If you're going to plagiarize you might as well plagiarize from the best. Terry Goodkind is one of the best (if sales is an indicator).

Legend of the Seeker         I would like to have my mage on a seeker-ish quest, but something more personal, perhaps fatalistic. A doomed quest of vengeance or some such. On the lighter side, maybe his side-kick can be a healer or priest/priestess with a chance to redeem him. There is already a bit of built-in intrigue.

         I think I'll move my story out of NaNoWriTool, the editor I'm using now into Celtx which is actual screenwriting software. N-tool has the advantage of being very simple with no distracting formatting issues such as you have with Word. Also, I love the fact that it displays a word count as you type. I wish all word processors did that. Celtx is still fairly simplistic in its formatting, but auto formats as a screenplay. I do not envision Warrior Mage (gotta get a better title) as a screenplay, but as a novel, but the difference in writing tools may jar me out of my lethargy.

         I've been a bit depressed today. My Levemir arrived, but I forgot that it did so and did not take it on time. I am not going to take it late in the day. Insulin in my system after 17:00 seems to keep me awake. That's the last thing I need. I may more or less double-dose tomorrow by taking a shot of Levemir and Humalog both at 1:00 and 17:00 tomorrow. That should put me back in control if I can keep my diet reasonable. My depression, lately, seems tied to my blood sugar. I haven't found any anecdotal evidence (or any) on the web but it doesn't seem an unreasonable hypothesis that when my blood glucose is high my spirits are low.

         I have been piling on the Depakote of late. It has helped with my neuropathy but not enough. I think the fact that my feet begin to burn and twitch after four hours no matter how drugged I am is part of my depression. I simply can't get more than about 4 hours sleep at a time. I don't know how big a deal that really is. I've read a few articles about segmented sleep that indicate it may not be a big deal.

         I'm typed out. G'night all.

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Four hours a night is usually my limit – more common is two three hour naps during a night with at least an hour awake in between each episode.

I have been this way for over 20 years and I have never found a way to change.

Drugs, alcohol - physical exhaustion, nothing ever seems to make me move beyond the four hour mark...four hours in one stretch can happen if I am VERY sick (when I went through my first chemo experience I would make it to four hours before waking.)

Since extra sleep time is usually devoted to horrific R.E.M. episodes that I would just as well avoid, I have grown rather fond of the three hour cut-off over the years.

Depakote?

Seizures or do you use it to help get through those manic times? (you don't have to answer that btw - just that I know the drug and that it sometimes helps with both/sometimes not so much)

My friend Gregg used to experiment with sleep deprivation - he called it 'polyphasic sleep' and thought that it would improve his mental health.

Bit about the concept here... http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/10/polyphasic-sleep/

I remember trying to talk him out of it at the time, thinking it was dangerous. In the end he DID try it but was not able to continue it for long before being overcome by extreme mood changes/swings and manic episodes.

It was interesting (we charted results for fun)

I would never give up those three hour naps to be 'super-woman' I don't think. I'm enough of a zombie as it is already *smile*

Be well,
Moonlight.

P.S.
(I thought I would read back some entries since we just met - I will open up some entries in my LJ soon so you can take a peek if you like)



LOL!

I just followed your link and it was about the same thing!

*snicker*

I should have done that first - but that's just like me.

M.L.

Thanks for opening entries...

Yes, depakote is for seizures. I am not Bipolar, though I think I have some of the symptoms (or had). My DX is severe depression with dysthemia

*small nod*

I have taken Depakote for control of seizures caused by other meds when I was not well a while back - the pills are huge and I hated them and the way they made me feel, I'm sorry you have to take them.

Depression is my 'normal'.

I stopped treating it many years ago and decided to just accept it.

NOT the greatest plan and I would never recommend it, it's just the way I let things float is all.

M.L.

P.S. I will have some entries open by tomorrow (I had been meaning to for a while, I had left and did the 'mass privacy thing' to make it easier. Now I REALLY wish I hadn't)

I will friend you back so you can see the ones I open - now all I have to do is decide what I can read again myself without becoming a melted mass of mental goo *smile*

M.L.

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