nanowrimo 2010

Louderblog

Diary of a Blind Madman

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Writing, conversation, & back pain
nanowrimo 2010
louderback
Today's Lyric:
I didn't cry
I just stood and watched her say goodbye
She closed the do-or
And said "I don't want to see you anymore"

Things I should have said to her
That maybe would have changed her mind to stay
Things I should have said to her
Like "girl, I love you so let love find a way"

Was it that she
Just couldn't understand a man like me
Was I to blame
Did I leave too many things unexplained?
Temptation Eyes
The Grassroots

Recently Played Songs:
         I've added the new feature to my journal. To the left you should see a list of songs I've recently listened to. It is automatically gernerated by Last.fm.

         Today has been a difficult one. I have done little but the day seems burdensome anyway. I am in a lot of pain. My lower back is hurting pretty severely. I have taken some darvocet, but it never helps. My doctors won't give me a pain-killer that actually kills pain. Anything strong enough to actually work seems to put me to sleep.

         Ed called today. He is doing OK with the whole diabetic thing. Making plans and working at it. Phase 1 is underway— that's the "It's not so bad!" phase. Phase 2 is the "gad! This is a pain in the ass!" phase.

         I also heard from Angela. She is the queen of questionable relationships. She seems to be doing OK right now, though. I wish she could find someone with whom she could establish mutual trust.

         Joe called last night. He is doing well at the new job and likes it. He wants to borrow my projector. I said yes, but I think I will relent. They notoriously travel poorly and he can certainly rent one with little difficulty in a town as big as Minneapolis (where he wants to use the projector).

         I lost a friend yesterday. Paul was in "blind school" with me in Kansas City about two years ago. He was, I think, nineteen then. Monday last he took a massive quantity of pills and took a swim in his family's pool. It seems he just couldn't cope any longer. It is a shame. In school, he was better at coping and adapting than any of us. I think sometimes the harder you work, the harder the work gets. I think that is why the "one day at a time" approach is better for us MI people.

Freewriting
I stand on the roof of the tallest of ten thousand towers. Facing west, the estuary is a perfect "V" kept so by walls of white adamantine lining the river bed. Behind me the sun rises and shadows of translucent towers made of gemstones and quartz add multicolored tints to the water. I turn to take in the Jewel City, Agla Tamon Amon, Jewel of the Thunder River. The towers are arranged artistically, not for flow of traffic or any other sort of organization. The Jewel City is like a flowerbed tended by a fanatic gardener. The streets are all but unseen in this light and nobody moves at this hour. As the sun rises to my right, topping the mountain that shields the city, mighty Tamon Amarth, it lights the Jeweled Falls. They spring from some immense underground source near the treeline of the mountain. The waters run less than a mile before they come to the Cleft. There they rush out across the Diamond Barrier, a huge vein of quartz bigger than a stadium and burst into the air where they fall almost exactly half a mile to the very floor of the Valley of Thunder whence the Thunder river makes its way to the sea. As the sunrise turns the Diamond Barrier pink I face to the South and look upon the fleet that lies there. Sixty thousand, Dromunds, biremes, triremes, even quinqueremes lay at anchor surrounded by a dozen or more smaller ships to attend them each. Altogether one hundred thousand ships and more than million men lay waiting to take my city. They were but the most recent such army. They were not the largest.

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