nanowrimo 2010

Louderblog

Diary of a Blind Madman

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Bleak
Man of Bronze
louderback
Today's updates and x-posts: louderpoetry

Whining

Other thoughts

Things are beginning to slip again. Today was officially payday. I got a single check. My insurance company lied again. I got no back pay for month I was out of favor due to pending paperwork. That means that while my mortgage (covered for the last ten days by my overdraft feature) is now paid, I have no money until the next payday. When and if ever that will be. In the meantime, I have no grocery money, no money to repair my sister's car (the explorer I gave her and my only mode of transportation other than the bus), no money to pay my phone bill. I will likely lose the phones next week. Water should hole a few weeks, and power a month or so. After that things will get dodgy in the extreme. Cable is already gone.

I am extremely worried, needless to say. I have appointments with my doctor, with Division of Family Services (DFS, hereafter) and the "Samaritan Society". I should be able to get food stamps, but it will be a month before they kick in and only be about $100. The Samaritan Society is a food bank and I should be able to sign up for a free bag of groceries once a month. They hand out staples as I understand it, flour, bread, canned vegetables, and basics, no meat, no dairy.

My doctor appointment will be my last with Dr. DIesel. My insurance coverage runs out next week, earlier than I thought. I will see the doc, get him to write me as many prescriptions as I can manage and probably stiff him for his copay. He hasn't been doing me much good anyway.

I can't actually afford to renew my prescriptions. At either $15 or $25 for each of them It would take me over $150 to fill them all for 30 days and around $225 to fill them for 90 days. Both sums are unreasonable for me.

I'm angry at my Opthalmologist. He won't pick a diagnosis for my eye condition. That means that I will not get long term insurance, support from DFS, medicaid, or social security disability for my vision. It is possible that that can be managed through Dr. Deselms. I am not at all optimistic.

There is a site: http://www.needymeds.com/ that will possibly help with my prescriptions. I am not concerned with my depression and sleep meds. They don't seem to be working very well anyway. I will probably not try to renew them unless I somehow develop a surfeit of cash. Likewise, the arthritis medicines can be foregone. They won't give me a strong pain pill and the nostrums I am trying are no more effective on my shoulder and knee pain than m&ms. I have to have the diabetes meds and they are less expensive (mostly $15 copays instead of $25). I don't know how they run without insurance coverage, though.

My diabetes control will have to be via diet. That is going to be relatively easy as I am certain to lose some weight given my finances. It may balance out somehow. It is odd to think my weight will improve as my finances vanish. I'll be better-looking and hungry.

I am bothered by the fact that I can't develop a time-frame for the dissolution that is taking place. I am, again and again, surprised. I can't get accurate information. People lie to me. My insurance company lied about back pay. My Ophtalmologist lied or Social Security did about my diagnosis.

Everything looks incredibly bleak.


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I hate to see my friends go through this kind of bullshit when they deserve so much better.

You are on my "magic wand" list.

As in "if I had a magic wand I'd want to fix everything for you."

In the meantime, if I can do anything in reality, let me know

fishy/luxcat

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